Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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