We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
