i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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