i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
