alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We left the knife in your bed.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
