Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
