4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
