She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
