shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
