For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
