I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
