I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize