it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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