you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
