Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
