She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
