I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
