I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
