You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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