it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Randomize
