my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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