Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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