I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
