I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
