Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
