She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
