Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize