I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
