You were right. It hurts to walk today.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
