the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
