We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
