can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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