Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
