I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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