your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
