That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
