It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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