I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
