To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i drank out of a bidet.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
