I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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