just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
