My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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