I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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