does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
