Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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