He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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