I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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