I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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