No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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