You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
