what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
