is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
