He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
