Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Drake has all the answers
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize