I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
