At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
