dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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