are you still at the devil's house?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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