i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
