this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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