Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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