is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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