I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I deserve this hangover.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize