My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
