a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I could fuck to npr.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
