Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
