I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
