me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
