I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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