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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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