Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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