I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
