GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i dont even know how to be here
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
