I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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