It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
