a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
